Cancer: a Disingenuous Disease – A Real-time Healing Journey
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Mammogram, ultrasound exam — I was optimistic. I thought being conscious about my health and exercising regularly would keep serious illness from inhabiting my body.
I am wrong.
The week between hearing, “You have cancer,” and meeting with the surgeon was emotionally draining.
I envisioned my left breast malformed from lumpectomy, felt the itchy, burned skin damaged from radiation, visualized myself bald from chemo, and wondered, Would I feel free like I do when I am sitting naked in a wilderness campsite sipping tea?
I imagined myself after mastectomy. Lopsidedness? Twenty years ago, I knew a marathon runner who unabashedly ran with a well-formed breast on one side. She seemed comfortable and confident both as a runner and a one-breasted woman. Could I be so courageous?
After the appointment I had a better sense of the surgical process. I got a stern recommendation to schedule surgery soon, definitely within four weeks, and meet with the other oncologists after my surgery was scheduled.
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